BANG OUT

I would not date me

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like

to be with a vagina

So I grab a mirror

and look at my pussy

It is not soft, supple, and pink.

It looks like elephant skin

grayish-purple and wrinkly

From all the times I’ve touched it

when stressed out

thinking about the mundane

like how we’re running out of toilet paper

so we should go to Costco

but I hate Costco. It is always crowded there.

“How old are you?”

asks my gynecologist while looking at my vagina

My legs encircle her head like an open parenthesis.

I concentrate on not getting aroused

as she pushes the speculum inside me

The hardest love

is loving by yourself

Without you,

I would be fine.

Maybe somewhat fatter

and depressed

but okay.

I would become an animal hoarder.

There would be a cat, 2 dogs, a parrot, a goat, and 2 turtles

living with me.

I find your diary on your computer.

I add an entry:

“I remember when I used to lick Geri’s clit. Those were the days.”

Walking by a store that has XXX on it

makes me think of triple-x syndrome.

For trivia night,

you write “pea shoot”

as the answer for something stuck in the back of someone’s head

“I am sorry your friend died,” I say.

“It was a bummer,” you say.

I saw a hawk in a tree and it flew off and I pointed it out to a passing couple

and they didn’t react

so I apologized.

They walked away and I watched the hawk

It found another hawk

They were flying into each other above the meadow